


coping.

by Anonymous



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Crying, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, Misgendering, No Romance, Trans Male Character, Trans TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Transphobia, eyo eyo, im gonna start posting anon fics so to see mine click on that tag, no beta we die like tommyinnit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 00:55:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28858443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: "I wonder when she'll get out of this boy phase...I miss my little girl."He slammed his door.His head was in his legs, his back leaning against the door.He sobbed.And sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.He was a girl. He'll always be a girl.---or, tommy ftm trans oneshot because im coping lmao
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 20
Kudos: 714
Collections: Anonymous





	coping.

**Author's Note:**

> Here are some warnings if you didn't read the tags  
> \- Transphobia  
> \- Misgendering
> 
> hope you enjoy :)

Tommy laughed loudly, a chorus of laughs joining in as Wilbur kept joking around. He was on a call with Wilbur, Tubbo, Techno, and Phil. It was a nice afternoon, and he was almost ready to start streaming in a few hours.

He then heard his mum shout at him from downstairs.

"Freya, could you please come down for a sec your gran's here." She shouted sternly, and Tommy knew damn well the others could hear her.

The laughing stopped, questions popping up in each of the other's heads. 

Tommy felt his heart  _ drop _ . He knew the others heard his mum, he knew that the others must be very confused.

"Tommy? Who the hell is Freya-" Tubbo finally says, his voice full of confusion.

"Sorry boys, I think i'm gonna go now, see ya later!" Tommy interrupted Tubbo, quickly exiting the call. His heart was pumping loudly in his chest, he felt his binder tightly around his chest, he hated it. He hated everything.

He got up, his legs feeling wobbly. He breathed in and out, trying to calm himself down as he went downstairs.

"Mum what do you want? I was on a call with my friends!" Tommy exclaimed.

"Well your gran decided to visit and so I thought you'd like to know, I didn't know you were in a call." His mother said, a bit of guilt in her voice. She knew that he was trans, most of Tommy's family knew, but most of them didn't accept it.

They saw him as  _ Freya _ , even though he was Tommy.

Tommy mumbled 'It's fine' and started to go upstairs, until he was stopped by his gran's voice.

"Come here young  _ lady _ , you have yet to acknowledge me." She said sternly, her frail voice sounding dangerous. A pang of pain struck through Tommy's heart, he remembers coming out to her and her saying " _ I don't understand, you'll always be my little girl!" _

It pained Tommy to his core.

"I'm not a  _ lady _ gran." He replied, going back down to face her. She scoffed, her face full of disgust and disappointment.

"You cut your hair again!? It was just starting to get long. Why would you cut it?!" She exclaimed, running her hands through his hair. He pushed her hands away, stepping a few steps back.

"I like it short." He mumbled, looking at the ground. He didn't want to be there now, he could feel his phone vibrating with all the messages he's getting right now. 

"Well you should let it grow soon, you looked so pretty with longer hair!" She said excitedly. Tommy looked at her in the eyes, he could see his mum staring at him, sadness in her eyes. She fully accepts him as a boy, as his  _ son _ , but his other family members don't.

"No thanks. Now I'm gonna go back to my room, thanks for coming." Tommy replied, quickly running upstairs before his gran could say anything. Right before he closed his door he could hear his gran say, "I wonder when she'll get out of this boy phase...I miss my little girl." 

He slammed his door.

His head was in his legs, his back leaning against the door. 

He sobbed.

And sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

He was a girl. He'll always be a girl.

She's a girl. Her name is Freya. She's not Tommy, she's Freya.

Freya not Tommy. Freya not Tommy. Freya not Tommy.

He then snapped out of his trance, his phone vibrating. He took it out to see Tubbo calling him on discord.

He answered, putting his phone to his ear.

"Tommy? Tommy are you okay? Why'd you leave the call?" Tubbo asked frantically, a worried tone in his voice.

Tommy didn't answer for a second.

"Sorry, I had to go because my gran was calling me.." Tommy replied, trying not to sniffle.

"That's fine, but why'd you leave the call? You could've just muted.." Tubbo continued to ask. He didn't blame his best friend for asking so many questions.

"I...I just-...Tubbo I have to tell you something alright? It's a secret that no one knows other than my family." Tommy said, his voice wavering a bit at the end. He sniffled, not caring if Tubbo heard that or not.

"You can tell me anything Tommy, I'll listen." Tubbo replied in a comforting manner, he felt tears start to form in the corner of his eyes again, his heart beating loudly.

"I-..I was not a boy my whole life Tubbo."

"Wha-"

"Im trans."

A beat of silence filled through the air.

Regret started bubbling up in Tommy's stomach, he knew this was a bad idea, telling his best friend that he was trans. What kind of a maniac is he?

"I'm sorry, I should have never told you I-"

"Uh...cool! That's nice..? Sorry, I just...don't really know what to say.." Tubbo replied, nervously laughing.

"Do-...Do you think I'm weird?" Tommy asked.

"Well your weird either way, so I'm not sure how to answer that"

They both laughed, the tension easing up a bit. As the laughter died down, Tubbo replied.

"No but seriously, if I'm being honest it doesn't bother me at all Tommy, you're my best friend...and nothing can ever change that." He said, comforting the younger boy.

Tommy had never felt so happy in his entire life, hearing those words made him smile big and bright, tears finally falling down his face. He laughed a bit, feeling like he was on cloud 100.

"Fuck- Thank you so much Tubbo...honestly it- it's so hard for me to deal with it everyday so hearing that really…" Tommy sniffed, not being able to finish his own sentence. 

"Aw no problem man...now you're gonna make me cry oh god-" Tubbo said in a joking matter, but his voice did shake at the end a bit. They laughed, the tension in the air now fully gone.

Tommy felt like he could finally breathe. Yeah he still felt dysphoric but Tubbo is doing a goddamn good job at distracting him from it without even realizing it. 

"Are you gonna tell the other guys? I could probably make up an excuse if you don't want to." Tubbo asked.

"I...think I might tell them tomorrow, I feel kinda drained out right now, maybe I'll take a nap or something." Tommy replied, a yawn escaping from his mouth. He did want to tell the others some day, just not now.

"Alright! I'll catch you later man...hope you feel better Tommy.." He said in a comforting way. It made Tommy's heart warm up, he's glad Tubbo was his friend, he probably wouldn't be here without him.

"Thanks Tubbo, talk to you later big man." Tommy said softly, he ended the discord call, putting his phone down next to him.

He stayed there for a while, his eyes closed as he was deep in thought. He then opened them, and finally snapped out of his little daze

He got up and laid on his bed, exhaustion finally getting the best of him. He closed his eyes for a second time, permanently this time.

He was dragged into a deep deep slumber quickly, not even getting time to think about what has happened so far.

It was peaceful, nice. Today may not have been the best day, but Tubbo definitely made it better.

He always does.

**Author's Note:**

> a little fic i decided to do cause dysphoria is a bitch and i hate it sm
> 
> kudos and comments are vry appreciated :)


End file.
